


The Stream

by unicarna



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicarna/pseuds/unicarna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby keeps leaving camp. Raven keeps an eye on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stream

**Author's Note:**

> I was going for smut but then I wrote this and it's nothing like smut and everything like angst but you're welcome...?

”She's leaving again.” 

”I'll go.”

”You sure?”

”Yeah.” 

In a hushed tone, Kane instructed one of the guards to go with Raven. Turning back to her, he fixed her with a firm gaze and said,

”Be careful.”

Raven slung a rifle over her shoulder and nodded at him before turning and heading out the gate. Shadowed by the guard, she followed the path that she had seen Abby take moments before.

 

Kane and Raven had both, unbeknownst to the other, taken it upon themselves to have Abby's back when she went off on her walks. By the time they ran in to each other in the woods and realised their common goal, it seemed silly not to join forces.

Raven completely understood Abby's need to be alone alone after everything that had happened, but she wished the older woman wasn't so reckless about it. Being alone in the forest was dangerous, even if you had a gun. So she had followed Abby at a distance several times in the past week, often volunteering to go instead of Kane, driven by the need to make sure Abby was all right. A need she didn't quite understand but had decided to accept. Taking care of their best doctor seemed like a good thing to do, she reasoned when she needed to explain to herself why she was forcing her injured leg to move faster on the uneven paths of the forest.

The Chancellor usually took a small path that lead to a beautiful waterfall. There she stayed, sometimes sitting down on a stone at the water's edge, staring into the distance until some unknown force seemed to shake her out of it and lead her home again. Raven wished she knew what went on in Abby's head in those moments. She suspected that her thoughts were of Clarke, of course, who was heaven knows where trying to survive herself. But Raven was sure that the missing daughter wasn't the only thing causing her distress. She saw the gaunt expression where before a smile and a quick comeback had been. Earlier, even in the darkest moments, Abby had been present, _alive_ , hungry for justice and peace. Now she looked defeated, and had retreated so far into herself that Raven worried that the Abby she knew would never come back. She had been through hell and back, like the rest of them, and Raven desperately wished there was something she could do apart from making sure that she stayed alive. When they talked, it was never about anything meaningful, not like it had been before the Mountain, before Clarke. Every attempt at speaking to her about it was deflected with a shrug and a look so tired it made Raven ache inside.

-o- 

Abby walked fast, as fast as she could. If she walked fast enough, she thought, she might be able to leave her racing mind behind. The forest lay achingly beautiful around her under a layer of frost. So full of promise for the day ahead and nothing like her insides that were torn and dark and consuming. She didn't recognise herself anymore. Just as she didn't recognise the person Clarke had been forced to become on the ground. Or perhaps she recognised them both far too well, as echoes of what could have been in another life. Only that life was now. Oh, she had expected things to change on the ground, how could it not. But somehow she hadn't foreseen that change to be in herself or her family. It had always been external, manageable and abstract in her mind.

But the ground was all harsh, unforgiving reality.

-o- 

Abby took the path to the waterfall again. Raven and the guard walked slowly behind her, far enough away so that they could melt into the nearest tree undetected if need be. Raven insisted on walking first, which the guard grudgingly agreed too. Kane must have given her the authority, Raven realised with a hint of surprise. How times had changed. She enjoyed the sound of frosty leaves crushing under their feet as they walked, breathing in the crisp air. It was getting colder. She would have to speed up her work on heating units in preparation for winter.

As they neared the waterfall, Raven instructed the guard to stay behind, close enough to watch over them but not close enough to overhear their conversation. Because Raven was determined to reveal herself this time. Her plan didn't go far beyond that but she knew she had to try and reach Abby somehow. If only to tell her that she was there for her, however unhelpful that may be. 

Raven approached slowly, stopping at the tree line and looking out at the scene before her. Abby was standing at the side of the little stream that made its way from the pool beneath the waterfall and into the forest, hands limply at her sides. She had her back turned, but Raven saw the tension in her shoulders that moved unevenly with the woman's shallow breaths and soft gasps.

_She was crying_.

Raven felt a pang of sadness at the realisation. Hesitating, she fell back a little, wondering if she should wait. But wait for what? Abby wouldn't be happier later on, and perhaps it would be easier to connect with her when she was this vulnerable. If that was morally wrong, then she would add that to the long list of things that would send her to hell. She had nothing to lose, and in a sense, neither did Abby. But it took her several minutes to make up her mind, struggling with the conflicting emotions of wanting to help and not wanting to impose. Finally, she discarded her rifle on the ground and squared her shoulders.

Emerging from the thicket of branches, she made no effort to be quiet. She saw Abby stiffen and then the older woman quickly drew her gun and turned around, ready to fight. Their eyes met.

Raven's eyes widened, equal parts from having a gun pointed at her and from the look of profound sadness she saw on every inch of Abby's face, even as the woman clearly tried to compose herself.

Abby lowered her gun as soon as she registered who it was and took half a step towards Raven before stopping, sniffling, and wiping away her tears. “Raven. What are you doing here?”

There was an edge to her voice and Raven wondered what on earth she was going to reply to that. She really should have thought this through.

 

“I..uh..I followed you.” Raven cursed under her breath. Great start.

At Abby's raising eyebrows, she added,

“But not in a creepy way. I mean...damn it, I came because I worry about you, okay? Kane does too and we're just...trying to keep you safe since you're not doing a very good job with that yourself.”

Abby stared at her.

Raven stared back, heart hammering in her chest, worrying that she would actually die from the daggers directed at her.

Eventually, Abby breathed out a huff of air and Raven caught the smallest hint of a smile before the woman turned away, resuming her position overlooking the stream.

Raven started breathing again. She had to strain her ears to hear Abby's next murmur, “I brought a gun.”

Taking a deep breath, Raven walked towards her, resolutely claiming a stream-watching spot a small distance away and directed her response to the water.

“A gun won't do you any good if you're standing here lost in the stream. You'll be eaten before you have a chance to spin around and do that thing with your hair.”

Raven mentally slapped herself. Her brain and mouth needed a lot more connections. _A lot_. Abby struck a glance at her.

“That thing with my..? Never mind. What would I be eaten by, a bear? They tend to make sounds when they approach. Not as much as you, of course.”

Raven grinned. “I could do bear walking, easily. I just didn't want to startle you. But you did hear about the flesh-eating gorilla, yes? And I'm pretty sure there are other horrors out there just waiting for a delicious meal of Abby.”

Abby actually let out a small huff of laughter at this and Raven decided that her lack of filter might be a good thing.

-o- 

Abby found herself letting out a sound that sounded like laughter, tasted like laughter and almost felt like it. It felt odd, as if the young woman coaxed something out of her that shouldn't be there in the first place. She hadn't expected Raven to show up, and she definitely hadn't expected her to be so honest about why she was there. It felt good, in a way, to be worried about. But she wasn't sure that it mattered. She wasn't sure if anything mattered anymore.

The words slipped out before she could stop them. “Maybe I'll let them eat me.”

She felt Raven's eyes on her and could tell that the younger woman pushed down her initial witty (and probably suggestive) response, sensing the underlying hint of sadness that Abby couldn't hide.

“That would be a painful way to go.”, Raven finally replied neutrally.

Abby sighed. “Perhaps.”

She watched the pale sun shine on the water for a while, the occasional glitter a faint reminder of the sparkling of summer, and an oddly fitting metaphor for her state of mind. Finally, she turned to face Raven fully, surprised by the gratitude washing over her at the sight of concerned brown eyes. Perhaps it was this that made her next words far more honest than she had intended.

“I don't know how to handle losing Clarke, not again.”

Raven held her gaze, the empathy in them threatening to overwhelm her. She averted her eyes to the frozen ground.

“Don't you think she'll come back? I can't imagine never seeing her again”, Raven admitted in a low voice. Too raw. Too honest.

Abby felt her eyes fill with tears, her voice breaking, “I don't know. I just don't know.”

She stared and stared at the ground, biting her lip to keep from breaking down completely in front of the younger woman. But then Raven's hand was on her cheek, slowly tilting her head back up. Abby swallowed and gave in to the gentle urging, meeting eyes that had seen far too much pain, just like her own. She felt a trickling tear betray her resolve, then another.

Raven spoke softly, “I won't tell you that everything will be okay. I don't know that. Nobody knows that. But I can tell you that I will be here for you, if you let me.”

It was too much, too gentle, and Abby felt her face crumble, a sob escaping her lips and she couldn't bring herself to care about staying strong anymore. She grasped Raven's arm to steady herself, nails digging into soft skin but she couldn't stop, couldn't stop...

So when she felt Raven's arms surround her, she leaned in to the embrace gratefully, sobs wracking her body as she let her head fall against the woman's shoulder. Her tears fell freely, landing on Raven's jacket and slowly wetting the fabric. She was blinded by them, unsteady, and as everything came crushing down on her – Jake, Clarke, the 300 people that gave their lives in the culling and all the others who had lost themselves one way or another on their journey to the ground – her legs gave away, pulling Raven down with her. And all Raven did in response was to pull her closer.

They sat together on the ground, the other woman's subtle scent surrounding her, and she felt bare, broken, lost and safe all at once.

-o-

Raven's heart clenched with every sob that Abby let out. She held her as tight as she could, trying to convey the depth of emotion she felt as if that somehow could help Abby know that she wasn't alone. Raven was overwhelmed by her own response, tears burning behind closed eyelids as she gently held her, placing a soft kiss to her hair. She realised with a pang how very intimate of a gesture that was but filed that thought away for later, focusing on the here and now 

The minutes ticked by and slowly the sobs became less frequent until they were finally replaced by sniffles and shaky breaths. Raising her head, Raven looked around for the guard and saw him standing a good distance away, half hidden by the trees and respectfully turned away from the scene. Satisfied, she started rubbing Abby's back in soothing circles, her other hand coming up to push away the hair that clung to Abby's face. She tucked it behind the woman's ear, resting her chin on top of her head. 

Raven wasn't sure how long they stayed that way and it was only when Abby pulled back a little, giving her room to move, that she felt how stiff her legs had become. She forgot all about that, though, when Abby finally raised her head and met her eyes hesitantly. Her face was raw with emotion, eyes and nose red and wet. Raven's breath caught as her throat constricted, full of that unnamed thing she felt for this woman who had trusted her enough to bare herself completely. And she found herself acting on an impulse she couldn't control, hands coming up to cup tear-strained cheeks before placing a soft kiss to the woman's forehead.

Abby's eyes filled up with new tears at the gesture, but they didn't fall.

-o-

Abby was pure emotion, stripped bare of any semblance of walls or barriers. Her forehead tingled from where Raven had kissed her, the gesture more unconditional than anything she had felt in a long time. She wasn't sure how it had happened, but she _felt_ more in this moment than she had done in the past weeks all together. Which was odd since she had spent so much time alone with her emotions, wallowed in the pain and ached for the happiness of a past long gone. But with the simple gesture of staying with her when she cried, Raven had touched something inside of her, something so hidden and so well protected that she had almost forgot it existed.

Swallowing hard, clearing her throat and hoping that her voice would hold, she looked up at Raven and tried to convey how much she meant it when she said,

 

“Thank you.”

  


End file.
